Americana
by Littleoblivion
Summary: The promise of an easier life lures JJ and her family away from Washington, DC. But when a new danger, darker than anything she's ever experienced, rears it's head, will she be able to save those she cares about most?
1. Chapter 1

**(Hello! This is a new story I'm writing called Americana. It takes place around 2010, when Henry is 2. Also, for the purpose of this story, Will and JJ are already married. I hope you enjoy, leave me a review!)**

"JJ, wake up."

I opened my eyes, squinting against the sun pouring in through the car windows. "What's wrong?"

Will glanced over at me and took my hand with a smile. "Nothing's wrong. We're here." I glanced out the window at the town.

"Where's the rest of it?"

He chuckled. "Glad to see you're so impressed." I sat up straighter, really looking at the buildings we were passing. They were flat and low to the ground, their signs faded and peeling. People seemed to watch our SUV as we drove past, recognizing us as out of place.

"How many people did you say live here?"

"Just over 15,000."

I shook my head. "Jesus. That's barely enough to count as civilization."

"My hometown only had about 1800. We didn't have a McDonald's."

I shook my head. "No thank you."

"It wasn't so bad. We found ways to amuse ourselves."

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean you drank beer and chased girls?"

He grinned. "I might have read a few books in there somewhere."

"So is this the main road?"

"It's Main Street, yeah."

"This is as big as it gets?" He nodded and I silenced a sigh, reminding myself of all the reasons I had agreed to this move. Will had been offered a position as Captain with the Americana police department. It meant rising two ranks and a pay increase, with a drastically lower cost of living. A smaller town meant less crime so he would be in less danger than in his current position with DC Metro police. He could spend more time at home with Henry and I. The smaller schools would give our son a better education once he was old enough, and would give him a more idyllic childhood.

I glanced at Henry in the rear view mirror. He was asleep against the side of his car seat, his chubby cheeks sticky from the candy we had bought him at a gas station during the drive.

I felt like the first two years of his life had been more than idyllic. Afternoons in the park, taking him to museums, meeting other kids from vastly different backgrounds, a nanny who had cared for him as if he was her own.

Oh yes, another perk of the move: not needing a nanny. There weren't a lot of press liaison openings available in Americana, KS and with Will being appointed as a Captain, I couldn't work at the police station period. So for now I was still looking, and would be staying home until something turned up.

Will turned right and the businesses turned into residences. They were all either low ranches from the 60s or older homes from closer to the turn of the century, complete with porches that were in disarray, the paint peeling from their columns. The farther he drove, the more spread out they became.

"Are we leaving town?"

"The house is on the outskirts." This was my first time in Americana. Will had visited several times to interview and then formally accept the position but I couldn't get the time off from the BAU, so he had been left to house hunt alone.

The SUV slowed and he turned into a driveway. A large white house loomed among a yard full of overgrown weeds.

"Holy shit, Will. That thing is massive."

He laughed and opened his door. "Welcome home. Here, let's leave Henry in the car in the air conditioning while I show you around." I got out too, the stifling heat pressing against my skin.

"This is way bigger than you made it seem."

"It was built in 1898, they weren't worried about taking up too much room."

"You said it had four bedrooms?"

"Four bedrooms, right… And a library, a sunroom, a formal living room, and what the previous owners called a music room."

"What in the world do we need this much space for?"

"For all of Henry's brothers and sisters," he teased, putting an arm around my waist as we walked up the front drive.

"Yeah, and your other wife who births them," I answered with a soft smack to his chest. He pulled a key from his pocket and let us in.

Inside was cooler than I expected. The air smelt musty, as if no one had lived here for years. The foyer was beautiful with a mahogany staircase leading to the upper level. He led me through the ground floor, turning on the ceiling fans and pointing out all of the different rooms. It really was a beautiful house, and compared to what we had been paying for our two bedroom condo in DC, an absolute steal.

"We're going to have to buy more furniture," I joked, peering inside some of the kitchen cabinets.

"I bet that can be arranged. There's a bathroom through here." I followed him.

"Not crazy about the pink walls, but it could be worse." I opened the door to the stand alone shower. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

"Will, this is… God look at the grout in here. It's nearly black in places. This thing hasn't been properly cleaned since before I was born. This is disgusting."

"Well at least you'll have something to keep you busy." He pressed a kiss to my cheek and I laughed.

"Buddy if you think you're getting out of helping me clean you are sorely mistaken." We left the bathroom and he led me upstairs. All of the bedrooms were decently clean with ample closet space. In fact, that seemed to be one thing the house had plenty of. Everywhere I turned there were more closets, more storage. It was a pleasant change from city life. As I stood in the middle of what would be our master bedroom, Will came to stand behind me, his arms wrapped around my stomach.

"What do you think, Jayje?"

"It's beautiful," I said, turning to face him. "I mean it."

He brought a hand to my cheek. "Thank you for agreeing to this move. I know you're giving up a lot to come here."

I smiled. "What's a marriage for other than sacrifice? And besides, it's not for forever. Eventually we'll move back to the city."

He pressed his lips to mine. "We will. But until then, how about we break in the house?" He waggled his eyebrows at me and pulled me a little closer.

I giggled against his lips. "We've been up here for a while. We need to go get Henry from the car and start unloading."

"But we've been driving all day, and you smell so good." He nuzzled his nose into my neck.

"Will, I smell like sweat and the car and greasy fast food."

"Mm, my favorite."

I laughed and smacked him on the shoulder. "C'mon, it's cool enough to bring Henry in from the car. But I'll tell you what, once we get everything inside and get the trailer turned in, we can start the process of breaking in every single bedroom, music room, and sun room the house has. Deal?"

He followed me out of the bedroom, smacking my ass as he did. "You drive a hard bargain, Jareau."

X

It took several long hours, but eventually everything was inside. Will took the U haul back into town and brought us back a pizza. I had no idea which boxes held our pots and pans, and we didn't have any groceries other than the snacks we had brought along for Henry, so it looked like we would be eating out for a few more meals at least. We sat at the counter in the kitchen and ate, Henry balancing on Will's knee.

"What's that?" I pointed to a door we hadn't gone through earlier.

"The basement. The previous owners left their washer and dryer."

"Oh that'll be nice. Anything else down there?"

"Not much. Maybe some old rags. It seemed pretty cleaned out when I was down there."

"It'll be nice to have laundry here in the house instead of having to haul it all the way to a communal room. We just have to take it down two flights of stairs instead of sixteen."

"Actually, we won't have to take any down, there's a laundry chute from the second floor directly into the basement. We'll just have to bring it back up." He gave me a cheeky grin. "How's that for efficiency?"

"Do you have to go in tomorrow?"

He nodded, wiping at Henry's face with a paper towel. "I report tomorrow at eight am sharp."

I tickled under Henry's chin. "Hear that? It's just you and me tomorrow, little man."

"You should explore the town a little bit."

I shrugged. "I'll probably start on getting everything unpacked. That way we can look at what we have and what we're going to need to buy."

He nodded. "Fair enough. You'll need to go in to the cafe over on Chestnut in the morning, though."

"Why's that?"

He smirked. "We found the coffee maker but we haven't found the coffee yet."

X

That night, once Henry was settled in his playpen down the hall, I kept my promise of breaking in the new house. Will laced his fingers with mine as he moved between my legs. His head dipped to kiss and suck at the spot just behind my jaw and I bit my lip, not wanting to make too much noise.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him even tighter to me. He released my hands so that one could work it's way between us, pushing me towards the edge, and he rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he gasped.

His hips rolled against mine and my breath caught in my chest. "I'm… I'm…" My orgasm rocked through me, making my back arch and my toes curl. He thrust into me a few times more before following me over the edge.

We collapsed into a sweaty heap, catching our breath. He rolled onto his back and I pulled the sheet to cover us, resting my head on his chest. My eyes were already inching closed when he began to speak. "I mean it, JJ. I really love you."

"Well you better, we are married after all." He gave me a light pinch on the ass and I laughed. "I love you too."

"I think this is going to be good for all of us. Neither of us will have to be constantly worried that the other person is in danger. We'll get to spend more time with Hen. And we'll get to be in the same city for longer than a week at a time for the first time since… well since we met each other."

I laughed softly. "That's not true. I didn't travel for the last few months of my pregnancy or while I was on maternity leave."

"You know what I mean."

"I do."

"It's gonna be like a honeymoon."

I pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "You're gonna end up sick of me."

He pulled me closer. "That's impossible."

We both lay silent. "Will?"

"Hm?"

"What if…"

"What?"

"It's dumb, never mind."

"What, babe?"

"Well I was going to say, what if I can't make any friends here, but then I remembered that I'm thirty one, not thirteen."

"You'll find someone. And true, you may not be as close as you and Emily or you and Spencer, but to be fair you probably won't have to watch your new friends be shot at." I laughed. "But you'll find a group of friends here. Anyone who doesn't want to be friends with you is crazy."

"Thanks, Dad," I teased, and he groaned.

"Can you not? Not when we've just had sex." I laughed and stretched up to press a kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry. Would you rather I call you Captain?" I could feel him stirring back to life next to my thigh.

"Now that is something I could get behind." He rolled us over and kissed me and I pulled back with a laugh.

"Will, you have to start a new job in seven hours."

He kissed down my neck. "But we have all of these bedrooms to explore."

"None of which have beds yet."

"Who said we needed a bed?" He got up and picked me up bridal style, dragging the sheet along with us as he made the way to the bedroom across the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**(Alright! Here we go with Chapter two! Let me know what you think!)**

The next morning I got Henry and I ready then loaded him into his car seat. I had been planning on taking a few days to adjust to no longer being in the city before venturing into the town, but the chances of me getting through the day without coffee were slim to none. Plus this way I could go ahead and pick up some groceries for when the kitchen was finally in order.

A bell rang on the door of the cafe, Mimi's, as I pushed it open, Henry on my hip. Inside was cheerily lit, with banged up linoleum tables and vinyl chairs. Most of them were already taken by a group of old men, caps set back on their heads. They all sat nursing cups of coffee and they looked up as I entered. I stood just inside the doorway, unsure of whether to sit myself.

"Should I wait for…" I trailed off but none of them answered, instead just looking me up and down then looking at each other. Thankfully the waitress came in from the kitchen.

"Come on in, shug. Pick any clean table." I wasn't sure that any of these tables would pass a health inspector's definition of clean, but I kept my mouth shut. Instead I smiled and took a seat at a table away from the group of men. "Does he need a booster?"

"That would be great, thank you." She brought one over and I got Henry buckled in.

"What can I get you started with?"

"I'll take a coffee, and a milk for him, please."

"Cream and sugar?"

"Thank you." While I waited for our drinks I glanced around at the walls. There was lots of sports memorabilia from local sports teams including the high school and the community college. Apparently the football team, the Americana Eagles, had been the bi-state champions several years prior. Their picture was proudly displayed in several places.

"Here you go, shug." She slid our drinks onto the table. "Know what you want to eat, yet?"

"Could I look at a menu?"

"Oh yeah! Lemme find one." She stepped away then came back with one. "Sorry. We mainly just serve folks from here in town. Haven't changed the menu in forty years, so they know what they want. You just passin' through?"

"No, we just moved here. Last night, as a matter of a fact."

"Where from?"

"Washington."

"It's so pretty up there. I have a cousin who lives in Spokane."

"Oh no, Washington, DC."

"My goodness." She seemed to be sizing me up. "You one of those fancy politician's wives?"

I laughed. "No, no. I worked for the government, but not like that. My husband is the new police captain."

She gave me an impressed look. "Well how do you like that."

"I think I'll just take some scrambled eggs and toast. Do you have wheat bread?"

"Mm hm. What about for this handsome guy?"

I made an excited face at Henry. "Do you want some waffles? Does that sound yummy?"

"Yes!"

"Yeah, the waffles. And a bunch of extra napkins, please." She took our order to the kitchen and I fixed up my coffee. I took a sip before digging a coloring book out of Henry's diaper bag. The coffee wasn't the best, extra strong and slightly burnt, but after years of drinking stale coffee in unfamiliar police stations, I had learned to make do. It didn't stop me from yearning for a Starbucks, though.

"Boy what has she got you colorin'?" I jerked my head up to find one of the men had wandered over.

"Doc M'stuf," Henry babbled.

I placed a hand on Henry's chair, a little uncomfortable with how close this stranger was standing to us. "Doc McStuffins, it's a children's cartoon."

"Hmph. He oughta have somethin' for boys, like sports or super heroes or somethin.' He's a fine lookin' boy though."

"Oh, thank you."

"Name's Norman Gitchell, people around here call me Buzz." He held out a hand and I shook it.

"Jennifer Jareau."

"Did I hear you say your husband's the new captain?"

"Yes sir, he is."

"Well, he must be quite a fella to score a looker like you."

My face flushed, and I stuttered for a moment, unsure of what to say, but thankfully we were saved by our food arriving.

"Buzz leave the poor girl alone, she ain't even finished her coffee yet."

"Don't you boss me around, Barb. I'm just mindin' my manners." All the same, he migrated back over to his group.

"Can I get you anything else, shug?"

"I think we're okay, thank you."

"Okay well just holler if you need something." She went behind the counter and began reading a newspaper.I sighed then smiled at Henry as I began to cut up his waffles. One thing was for certain; we were no longer in DC.

X

After breakfast we bought groceries. Gone were the days of buying organic or gluten free; this was a local store with limited availability. All the same, we were now in the middle of farm country. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen such fresh produce, and at a great price. Henry had sat contentedly in the basket, pointing things out to me and smiling at the people we passed.

Back at home, I put it away then got Henry settled with his toys before turning my attention to the large stack of boxes in the living room. When we had been packing everything in Washington, I had felt confident that everything was being arranged in a manner that would make sense when we were unpacking. Now that I was on the other side however, I was completely lost in sheer velocity of things we owned.

Thankfully, I was saved by the vibration of my phone. A picture of Emily holding Henry in the hospital popped up. I smiled and accepted the call.

"Hey!"

"Hey Jayje! Long time no talk."

I laughed, propping the phone between my ear and shoulder. "It's been what, three days?"

"Maybe not even that long. But you can't just move to the middle of nowhere and then not call. We've seen too many crazy things, I assume the worst. How's the town?"

"It's… quaint."

She groaned. "I think that's polite for tiny and boring."

"And just very… It's a different atmosphere from what I'm used to. Today a complete stranger told me I 'quite the looker,' And not in an abstract, cat call way, he walked right up to where Henry and I were eating breakfast so he could critique my parenting choices. His name was Buzz."

"Oh wow. That sounds…"

"Quaint?" We both laughed.

"What about the house?"

"Emily, you would not believe how big it is. We could fit the entire BAU in here."

"Well maybe we'll just relocate to Americana then. Nothing says we have to be located in Quantico."

"You would get up to nothing but trouble here."

"That's probably true. But I want to see the house! I'll hang up so we can Face time!"

"We can't. The Internet isn't set up yet, I don't have Wi-Fi."

She groaned. "That's a nightmare."

"And anyways, you should wait and look at it once we have everything unpacked and settled. Right now it's just big and empty and dusty."

"Do you think it's haunted?"

I abandoned the box of DVDs I had been halfheartedly pawing through. "Emily! Don't joke about that!"

"Well it was built in what, 1912?"

"1898."

She gasped. "1898. The year all ghostly houses are built."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, laugh it up."

"I'm just kidding, JJ."

"Well that's great but I'm the one who actually has to live here."

"Thank goodness you have the specters to keep you company!"

"Oh fuck off, Emily."

"Seriously, though. How does everything seem?"

I took a deep breath. "It's going to be okay. Everyone we've met is already in love with Henry-"

"Well how could they not be?"

"And this job is going to be great for Will. More time interacting with the community, less time dodging bullets."

"What about you?"

"I'm…" I ran a hand through my hair. "I've only been here for twenty four hours. I'm still adjusting. Give me enough time and I'm sure I'll find a job and a group of women who I can tolerate, and everything will work out."

"Just promise me you'll find a job, okay? Don't go all Betty Crocker on me. I'm counting down the days until you move back to the city and take your job back."

"Trust me, you're not the only one," I mumbled.

"Alright well I'm getting a stern look from Hotch so I better go, but don't be a stranger okay? I miss you lots. Send me pictures and tell Henry I love him."

I smiled. "Will do. I miss you, too. Bye, Em."

X

We were sitting in the living room that night, sorting through our collection of books when something white and gray practically dropped into my lap. I screamed and jumped to my feet.

"What is that?"

Will began to laugh at my reaction until he was nearly crying. "That's called a cat, JJ."

"I know that, smart ass, I meant whose is it? Where did it come from?"

"She belonged to the previous owners."

"But I thought the house had been vacant?"

"No, they moved out fairly recently. Didn't want to take her all the way across the country so they let her stay. She took care of herself while they were gone, feeding on mice."

"Feeding on what?"

He laughed again as he stood up, pulling me into his arms. "Aw look at my city girl, roughing it out in the country." He kissed my cheek. "You really didn't see her until just now?" I shook my head. "She must have been hiding in one of the rooms upstairs."

"I've never had a cat."

"Really? Well, they basically take care of themselves. You just feed 'em, refill the water bowl, and scoop out the litter box from time to time."

I wrinkled my nose. "Which is where?"

"Down in the basement. Where I will take care of it, don't worry." It came and rubbed up against my bare legs.

"Does she have a name?" I asked.

"Not one that I know. Any ideas?" Henry came toddling in from the adjacent room, his eyes lighting up as he caught sight of the cat.

"Moo!"

"No buddy, the cow says moo. A kitty cat says meow," Will gently corrected. He caught the cat and brought him to Henry to pet.

"Moo!" he said again, clapping his little hands together.

"Meow," I tried.

"Moo!" he yelled insistently.

I looked at Will and shrugged. "I guess that settles it. The cat's name is Moo."


	3. Chapter 3

**(Surprise! We put on a production of Newsies and now I'm back in Texas. Enjoy chapter three! Review!)**

The days fell into a rhythm. Will would get up and go to work. I'd get up and get Henry and I fed and washed then get him preoccupied before turning my attention to the house. It only took a few days to unpack all of our things, so I had turned my attention to cleaning it from top and bottom. It didn't make sense to me that people had been living in it before us. The baseboards and window sills were layered with dust and grime. The bathrooms smelt of mildew and the tiles were moldy. The upstairs bathroom didn't even have a shower, just a weirdly stained bathtub.

A week and half later, I finally felt as if our house was clean. I put Henry down for his nap then decided to take a shower to wash off some of the grime of cleaning. As I shampooed my hair, I couldn't help but look at the newly whitened grout with a satisfied smile. I may have not been in the field chasing serial killers, but I wasn't completely useless.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, my shoulders sagged forward in defeat. Who was I? Scrubbing the grout of our shower was nothing like working for the BAU. I had been lucky to have a job that I was good at, that helped people in crisis and worked to right wrongs. I recognized that staying home and keeping house was a very important job and something many women found fulfilling but that's not wahat I wanted.

I hurried through the rest of my shower and made my way upstairs. Will had mentioned that there was going to be some sort of town picnic at the park, so I decided that I should at least make some sort of effort. I pulled on a sundress and walked to the bathroom so I could put on makeup and comb my hair. As I walked by the top of the stairs I glanced over the bannister, catching sight of the man standing at the foot of the stairs as I did so. My head snapped back for a double take.

No one was there.

I had imagined it.

Henry and I were the only people in the house.

I forced myself to laugh as I brought my hand to my forehead. Emily talking about ghosts on the phone must have stuck around in my subconscious. Still, I thought as I continued to the bathroom and began to get ready, he had seemed so real. I closed my eyes and tried to conjure him up in my mind. Dark hair, partially obscured by a brown fedora, pushed back on his head. He'd been wearing a matching brown tweed coat and a tie, looking like he had walked out of a silent movie. I shook my head. There had been no man.

By the time Will's cruiser pulled into our driveway, I had realized I was being completely ridiculous. I must have inhaled too much cleaner in the past few days. He gave me a kiss as I finished tying Henry's shoe.

"You look beautiful."

"I was starting to forget what it felt like not to be coated in floor cleaner. Figured I would put in an effort."

"And you! Look how handsome you are!" He picked Henry up out of his high chair and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Momma got fruit!" He pointed enthusiastically to the cooler on the kitchen counter.

"Yum." Will began to pick through it, handing Henry a grape. "You didn't have to do that, JJ. There's supposed to all kinds of ribs and burgers at the park, not to mention stuff like cotton candy and ice cream."

"I know. That's why I figured I would bring along something a little healthier to munch on. Let me grab my sandals and I'll meet you at the SUV."

"I figured we would take the cruiser."

I turned back to look at him. "You're really going to move the carseat into the back of your cruiser?"

He paused for a moment then grinned. "SUV it is."

X

Someone had gone to great efforts to decorate the park. Every bench, post, and tree had bright red and blue ribbons tied to it, and there was a cheerful banner proclaiming 'Americana, KS: God's Favorite City!'

"City? That seemes like a bit of a reach, don't you think?" I murmured just loud enough for Will to hear. He just smiled, putting the arm not carrying Henry around my shoulder.

We found a patch of unclaimed grass and spread out the blanket we had brought along.

"Alright do you wanna hang out here with Henry while I go grab us some barbecue?" he asked.

"Sure." He handed Henry to me.

He took a few steps before coming back. "Actually, I wanted to introduce you to my boss."

"Where is he?"

"Come on." He took my hand and led me to a nearby clump of people. "Chief Bray?"

An older gentleman with gray hair an a round stomach turned. "Captain." He shook Will's hand.

"I just wanted to introduce you to my family. This is my wife, Jennifer."

I smiled and extended a hand. "It's wonderful to meet you."

He took mine in both of his. "The pleasure's all mine. We're feeling quite fortunate to have your husband with us, Mrs. LaMontagne."

"It's Jareau, actually."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry?"

"It's Jennifer Jareau, not…" I took a deep breath and gave a quick shake of my head with a smile. "But most people call me JJ."

"Well, welcome to Americana. I hope you love it as much as I do."

"The town seems to have quite a bit of pride."

"We do indeed. We were founded in 1902."

"So our house was built before the town technically existed?"

He smiled, hooking his thumbs through his beltloops. "That's right. It was built by one of the town's settlers, P.D Gardner. In fact, he's the one who came up with the name Americana."

"How's that for history?" Will asked playfully, bumping his hip against mine.

"That's really interesting."

"Oh he was quite the character, a prim and proper guy by today's standards. Married real young, built y'all's house with the help of his older brothers when he was just eighteen for his expectant wife. Lived there until the day he died."

"What did he do for a living?" I asked.

"A bit of everything, I suppose. Like I said, he helped settle the town. He was on what would become the police department, pushing back aganst the last bands of outlaws in the area. He served as our mayor for several years. I think he was also a preacher."

"Sounds like a busy guy," Will said.

Chief Bray laughed. "Especially seeing as he fathered five children if I remember correctly. Speaking of, you two just have the one?"

"Just Henry," Will agreed. "Can you say hello?" he prompted gently, but Henry shyly hid further into Will's neck.

"Can you shake his hand?" I asked. Henry shook his head and completely hid his face, making all three of us laugh. "He's til adjusting to being in a new place," I excused.

"Sure, sure. Well I'll let you folks get back to the fun. It was nice to meet you JJ."

"You as well." I took Henry back to the blanket while Will got us some food.

The barbecue turned out to be as delicious as promised, as was the apple pie and homemade ice cream that had followed. As we settled back onto the blanket to wait for the fireworks, I remembered what had happened earlier.

"I scared the shit out of myself today."

"Oh yeah?"

I nodded. "I had just gotten out of the shower and I thought someone was in the house with me."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Did you check? Was there someone there?"

I waved a hand. "No, not like that. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a man but then I looked back and no one was there. All of the doors were locked, I just panicked for a split second."

He relaxed back onto the blanket. "Oh okay. Did you think I had come home early?"

"No, it was a man in an old fashioned suit, complete with a hat. He was standing at the foot of the stairs, then when I looked back he was gone."

He poked me in the side. "Really Jayje? A man? Are you sure it wasn't the ghost of Christmas past?"

I elbowed him with a laugh. "Okay, funny guy."

"Maybe he was mad because we cleaned up all of the fith that he had worked so hard to collect in the downstairs shower."

I rolled my eyes. "Probably."

A couple with a little girl walked over to us. "Hey there, Captain."

We both sat up and Will shook his hand. "Hey Boatman, how are you doing?"

"Not much, just enjoying the picnic. This is my wife, Kara and our daughter Brailee."

Will shook her hand then put an arm around my waist. "This is JJ." He kissed me on the lips, catching me off guard. Will and I had never been big fans of public displays of affection.

"It's… nice to meet you," I finally managed to get out, shaking both of their hands.

"How are you adjusting?" she asked.

"It's different, but we're managing."

"Are you staying home with this little guy?"

I smiled and smoothed Henry's hair as he slept peacefully beside me, his thumb in his mouth. "For now. I'm looking for a job though."

"Well I work at the high school, and we're always neeing more aides. You should come by and drop off your resume!"

"Maybe I will. What do you teach?"

"Special ed."

"Oh that must be really challenging."

She nodded. "It is, but I really enjoy it. For the most part the kids are really sweet."

"Well that's good."

"Anyway, we just wanted to say hello. I'll see you tomorrow, Captain."

Will waved. "See you at 8 am."

We watched as they walked away. "He's a good guy. Been on the force for a few years, no complaints."

"Good." I paused for a second. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"That kiss."

He grinned. "What, I'm not allowed to kiss you because I teased you about your ghost?"

"No, I just… I don't know. We don't do a lot of kissing in front of other people."

"Well it's different here, Jayje. Things aren't so uptight. We can be more relaxed."

"Okay," I said, still a little confused.

"Can I kiss you now?"

I brought a hand to his cheek. "I guess so." He met my lips in a soft kiss, then nuzzled up to my ear.

"Know what I think we should do when we get home?"

"What's that?"

"We'll put Henry in his room. I'll crack out a bottle of wine, pour us both a glass."

"I'm completely on board so far."

"Then we can move things upstairs. I'll help you out of your dress so you don't accidentally spill your wine on it-"

"So thoughtful," I murmured.

"Aren't I? Then I'll give you a massage, try to rub out some of the knots in your shoulders." I hummed in appreciation and he dropped his voice a bit lower. "And then my hands work their way a little bit lower, wanting to make sure that it's a very thorough massage. My lips find their way to your neck, to that perfect little spot you love."

"And then?"

He brought his hand to the inside of my thigh, just above my knee. "Then I'll do my very best to help you relieve your tension, throught whatever means necessary."

I bit my lip. "How will I ever repay you for such generosity?"

"I have a few ideas." The first firework went off, startling Henry awake. "I think that's our cue to go home."

We stood up and gathered our things. "We better hurry," I told him.

"Why?"

"I'm suddenly feeling very tense."


	4. Chapter 4

**(Sorry for the delay! Here's chapter four!)**

A week later, after Henry waking up several mornings in a row with a cough and a runny nose, I decided to take him into to see a pediatrician. Americana, of course, was too small to have anything more than a medical clinic, so I booked an appointment in Wichita. Will said that the clinic was used to seeing all ages and that it was a waste of a trip, but I felt like it was better safe than sorry. Plus, I was anxious to get out of the small town.

Being back in a city felt comforting and borderline luxurious. I couldn't help dragging out Henry and I's trip for much longer than necessary, getting coffee from Starbucks, having lunch at a restaurant that provided Wi-Fi, stopping in at Target. There were so many things that I had simply taken for granted when we were in DC, and now I missed them sorely.

But all good things had to come to an end, and we were almost back to Americana. I hummed along to the radio as we drove.

"Momma?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"I love Moo. Can I pet when we get back?"

I laughed. "I don't know buddy. That's probably something you'll have to ask Moo."

"I miss Em'ly," he said suddenly, his face falling.

I felt a pang in my chest. "I… yeah. Me too, buddy. I miss her too."

"And Penny."

"And Penelope, yeah. And Spencer, and Derek, and…" I sighed. "Everyone. I miss everyone.

I glanced at him through the rear view mirror and spotted flashing blue and red lights behind us. "Shit," I muttered beneath my breath. I pulled onto the shoulder and put the SUV in park. I grabbed my license from my purse and the registration from my glove box. There was a rap on my window.

I looked the officer over as I rolled down the window. He was young, only in his early to mid twenties. His blonde hair was cropped short and his eyes were hidden by his sunglasses. The badge on his shirt read Brooks. "License and registration, please." I handed them over and he inspected them. "Virginia?"

"I just moved here. I haven't had the chance to change it over yet."

"I see. Do you know why I pulled you over today?"

"No, I don't."

"You were speeding. The posted speed limit is 65."

I lifted my hands, chuckling slightly. "I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm brand new to the area. I'm still getting acquainted-"

"That doesn't mean you get free license to break the law."

"I wasn't implying that I could-"

"Where are you headed?"

I took a deep breath, knowing that nothing would be resolved by snapping at him. "I'm coming home from Wichita. I had to take my son to the pediatrician."

He lifted his glasses and peered into the backseat. "I see." He looked back at me. His eyes moved slowly up and down my body, and I had to fight not to grimace at his leering. "You're in awful good shape for someone who's had a baby."

I ignored him. "Are you going to give me a ticket?"

He rested an arm on my window. "Well I don't know yet. I'm sure we could work something out and send you on your way with a warning."

I didn't miss his insinuation. Even though I hated it, I figured now would be as good of a time as any to bring up Will and his job.

"Perhaps you'd be better off working something out with my husband."

"And who's that?"

"Captain LaMontagne."

He paused for just a second, cornered. Then he walked back to his truck and came back with his pad. He handed me back my license.

"Haven't changed the name on your license yet?"

"There's no need."

He snorted and put a hand against the roof of my SUV. "Oh I see. You're one of those women." His voice was dripping with condescension.

I could feel the anger beginning to rise. "And what kind of woman is that?"

"One of those uppity northern women who refuse to take their husband's last name. Won't let him feel like a man and mark you as his own."

My hands tightened into fists in my lap. "My husband doesn't think of me as his property," I spluttered.

"Well maybe that's his first mistake."

I narrowed my eyes. "Excuse me?"

He leaned just slightly closer, his eyes meeting mine directly. "Maybe you need to be put in your place."

I wanted nothing more than to put him in _his_ place, preferrably bu shoving my foot up his ass, but a small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I was not a federal agent. As far as the law was concerned, I was just an ordinary citizen. "Are you threatening me, Officer Brooks?"

He straightened up, giving me a sardonic smile. "Of course not, _Mrs. LaMontagne_." He finished scribbling on the pad and handed me my ticket. "I'm sure your husband can tell you where to pay it. That is if you can lower yourself long enough to ask him. Keep your speed down." He walked back to his cruiser.

I sat there, clutching the ticket. The entire exchange had been so inappropriate, I couldn't believe it had actually happened.

"Momma?" Henry called.

I glanced at him in the rear view mirror and then turned and forced a smile. "Everything's alright buddy. We're going to head home now, okay?" I reached back and took hold of his hand. He offered me a small smile and I turned back to the road, putting the SUV in drive and starting towards the house.

X

I was in the middle of putting away away a pan from dinner when I heard Will come in the kitchen. I straightened up and faced him.

"You will never believe my day."

He took his phone from his pocket and placed it on the counter in front of him. "Oh I bet I will." He turned and unholstered his gun, locking it in the gun cabinet behind him.

"I got pulled over for speeding-"

"And tried to get out of it by mentioning you were my wife?"

I looked at him in shock. "What?"

"Yeah. Brooks told Chief Bray. I got yanked into his office, he chewed my ass up one side and down the other."

"That's not what happened at all!"

"So you didn't get pulled over?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"And then you told him to take it up with me?"

"After he propositioned me, yeah! I thought it might be a good time to mention that we were married."

"He... what?"

I crossed my arms. "Oh did he forget to mention that to Captain Bray?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What did he do?"

"He was being inappropriate, complimenting my body, and when I asked him to give me my ticket and send me along, he told me we could work something out. Just half a mile from our house, with your son in the backseat!"

He gave his head a slight shake. "Well... that's not how he told it to Chief Bray."

"Gee, I wonder why," I bit back.

He sighed. "Jayje... I understand why you're upset, but you can't go popping off like that-"

"Popping- Will! He was being unethical. And furthermore, I'm your wife! I would've thought you'd be a lot more upset about how he treated me!"

"Oh so now you're my wife? What happened to not being my property?" I snorted, unable to believe what he was saying. "Yeah, I heard about that part too."

"He was being an absolute pig," I defended.

"JJ... we're not in DC anymore! You're not an FBI agent!"

"What? So men can just treat me however they want?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying-"

"What are you saying?"

"You're not even trying, JJ!"

My mouth dropped open, staring at him in outrage. How could he possibly say that? "Not- Will I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere, where I have no friends, no family, no job or life at all. Not trying? I'm here, aren't I? You don't understand what this has been like!"

"Are you kidding me? Of course I know what it's like to leave everything. Or did you maybe forget about me moving from New Orleans to DC so I could be with you? Did I start picking fights with the people you worked with? No." He slammed open the fridge and pulled out a beer. "I kept my mouth shut and was supportive, something you seem to find impossible."

I was so mad I could barely see straight. "You want me to keep my mouth shut? You want me to just fade into the background, meekly cooking you dinner and agreeing to whatever you say? If that's what you wanted then you should have married someone else." Tears rushed at my eyes and I tried desperately to push them away.

His face softened slightly, taking a step towards me as he set the bottle down. "C'mon JJ, don't be stupid. Of course that's not what I want."

"Are you sure?" I hated how shaky my voice sounded.

"Jayje..." He reached out and took my hand, gently rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. "Of course I'm sure. I married you because I love you, and because I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

I cleared my throat and wiped under my eyes. "I just feel like all of the things I used to know about myself, my job, my independence, my ideals... They're all gone or changing. I feel like I'm losing myself."

He pulled me in for a hug. "You're not lost, JJ. You're right here. I've got you."

I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble at work. I wasn't trying to get out of a ticket. In fact I told him to just give it to me so I could go."

He ran his hand up the back of my arm. "I know. And I should have gotten your side of the story before I jumped all over you, I'm sorry."

"I'm really trying, Will."

"I know you are, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just… tired. And stressed out, and worried that I'm not doing a good job on the force."

I pulled back to look at him. "You're a great police officer, Will. They are so lucky to have you. Especially with assholes like Brooks on the force." I stretched up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "We're okay?"

He gave me a small smile and kissed me again. "We're fine, Jayje."


	5. Chapter 5

**(Hello Hello! Here's chapter 5. Leave me a review!)**

"What are you doing?" I looked up from my laptop.

"Did Henry go down okay?"

He smiled, sitting beside me on the couch and pulling my feet to rest in his lap. "After four reads of A Very Hungry Caterpillar, yeah."

"Good."

"What are you working on?"

"I'm on the high school's website, I think I'm going to apply to be an aide like Kara suggested."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's not anywhere near being in my field, but I'm beginning to think it's that or get a job at the gas station." I rolled my eyes with a grin. He began to massage my feet and I sighed. "Yeah, feel free to keep that up."

"I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

"What's up?"

"I know you've been feeling a bit stir crazy, having nothing to do, but maybe this would be a good time for us to have another baby."

I laughed. "No way, Will."

"Why?" I looked up to find him completely serious, which caught me off guard, and I sat my computer to the side.

"Because… we agreed to wait a while."

"I know that, but maybe this would be a really good time. I mean since we're here it wouldn't be pulling you away from the BAU."

"I guess… I don't know. It just seems like too soon. Henry's only two."

"Yeah but by the time the baby was born he'd be three. And if we wait too much longer then there'll be a big gap between them."

"There was six years between Ros and I," I defended.

"I know, I know… It was just an idea." He took my hand. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, I just…" I took a deep breath and smiled at him. "It doesn't feel like the right time."

"That's fine. It was just a suggestion."

"I know. Someday."

He rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. "So you're applyin' to be an aide?"

I pulled my laptop back over. "Yeah. Figured they could use me in the English department, or maybe public speaking."

"That could be fun."

I gave him a small smile. "Hopefully"

X

I shifted in the stiff chair outside of the principal's office. I had been contacted for an interview the morning after I submitted my application. I caught the eye of the sweet woman sitting behind the secretary's desk and returned her smile. I had been excited to break my work clothes back out, but was now feeling incredibly overdressed in my pencil skirt and white button black pumps seemed too shiny against the scuffed up carpet, and I was glad I had left my blazer in the car.

The office door opened and two sullen looking boys came out, followed by a man in a shirt and tie. "I want both of you straight back to class, no jacking around in the hallways."

I stood up as they brushed past me. "Mr. Brewer?"

"Mrs. Jareau, it's nice to meet you. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's not a problem."

"Let's step inside my office."

I followed him into the cramped room. "So, you put in an application to be an aide. Everything seemed great, your resume is… impressive to say the least," he chuckled. "You really worked for the FBI?"

"Yes sir, for five years."

"What brought you all the way out here?"

"My husband was hired on with the police department."

"I see…" He shuffled through my application. "I have to confess, you're drastically overqualified for this position. You and I might be the only people in this town who have master's degrees. And yours is from Georgetown!" He let out a low whistle. "Why in the world do you want to be an aide?"

I recrossed my legs. "There aren't exactly a lot of press liaison openings here."

He laughed again. "That's certainly true. Well, you're hired, obviously. I think the best fit will be in junior and senior English with Mrs. Oliver. If you'd like I can take you down and introduce you, then show you to the business office so you can begin your on-boarding paperwork." He stood up and I did the same, surprised that the interview was over so quickly.

"Oh! Yes, that would be… great! Thank you."

As we walked through the hallway, he pointed out the science classrooms, the lab, the special ed classroom. I caught a glance of Kara through the window in the door.

"That's the freshman and sophomore English classroom, taught by Mrs. Black, and this will be your classroom." He rapped on the door then stuck his head in.

"Good morning, Mr. Brewer! How can I help you?"

He stepped inside and I followed him. "Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to introduce you to your new teacher's aide. This is Jennifer Jareau."

She crossed from her podium and shook my hand, smiling warmly. "Oh great! We're excited to have you."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Mrs. Jareau recently moved from DC."

"Well, welcome to Americana! Will she be splitting time between me and Mrs. Black?" she asked the principal.

"I'm still hoping to hire another aide, but if not it's a possibility."

"Oh, while I have you in here, I had a question." She led him to her desk and I took the opportunity to gaze around the classroom. It was on the larger side, with probably thirty desks plus a table at the back housing a bank of computers. Around twenty kids sat in the desks, books open in front of them. Several were talking among themselves, but I noticed a few looking me over with curiosity. I gave a somewhat nervous smile; I had been feeling rather confident about this, but being face to face with a roomful of teenagers was suddenly making me miss confronting serial killers.

The bell rang and they all jumped from their seats rushing for the door, which I quickly I stepped away from.

"Mrs. Jareau, I was just telling Teri that we'll try to have you in the system in order to start on Wednesday, does that sound alright to you?"

"That's great! That'll give me enough time to arrange for daycare."

"Then it's set."

"I look forward to having you in class on Wednesday," she told me.

"I'll see you then."

X

"How's your first day going?" I looked up from my lunch to find Kara sitting down across from me, a smile on her face.

"It's… great! A little overwhelming. A lot of names to learn."

She laughed. "That's the one good thing about Special Ed. One group of kids all day, only nine or ten names to learn."

"Lucky you," I smiled.

"How're you doing being away from your little one? Hayden, right?"

"Henry. It's not so bad! Back when I was at the BAU I would be out in the field working for a week at a time. So really, six or seven hours is nothing. I hope he's doing well at daycare, though." He had been uncharacteristically weepy and clingy when I dropped him off, holding on to my leg when I tried to leave.

"Leaving your baby for a week at a time? That sounds downright cruel," a blonde haired woman sniffed from in front of the microwave.

"I'm sure he's just fine." Another woman sat down across from us. "Hi, I'm Isabel Quincy."

"Jennifer Jareau, you can call me JJ. What do you teach?"

"Technology Sciences." She tossed her dark hair back and looked at me with interest as the woman took her meal from the microwave and left the room. She continued, "That's Tabitha Andrews, teaches Algebra 1 and Geometry. If you feel like she's judging you harshly, she is." She gave me a smirk.

Kara leaned in conspiratorially. "Not to set you against anyone on your very first day, but she can be a bit of a..."

"A judgemental, holier-than-thou bitch," Isabel finished.

Kara laughed. "She's not that bad."

"She's horrible. You being nice about it won't do JJ any favors." She turned back to me. "What do you think so far?"

I swallowed a bite of the leftover pasta I'd brought. "Of?"

"The school, the town, the people."

I took a second to mull it over. "It's… very nice."

Isabel gave a sharp laugh. "You hate it here."

"No, I-"

"Listen, I didn't grow up here, I won't hold it against you. Compared to DC, Americana must feel like a ghost town."

"How do you know where I moved from?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Please. People started talking about you from the moment your husband came down to do his final interview. And now that you're working here, people's lips have been moving nonstop."

"Good things, I hope."

She shrugged.

"It's really not so bad here," Kara insisted. "I really like it. It feels like a community, a home."

"Have you invited her to Freedom Friday, yet?"

"I haven't had the chance."

"What's Freedom Friday?" I asked.

They both turned back to me. "On Friday nights a group of the teachers get together at one of our houses for wine and snacks," Kara explained.

"Everyone sends their husbands and kids off to the football game, and we take the night to not cook for anyone and bitch about our lives. It's therapeutic. It's practically included in the school's health insurance policy." Isabel's sharp tongue reminded me of Emily's, and my chest ached for my friend.

"That sounds perfect." I leaned in and lowered my voice. "Will Tabitha be there?"

They both laughed. "Oh no, she'll be at the football game, watching over her cheerleaders, taking in their every imperfection with her eagle eyes," Isabel explained.

"She's the cheerleading sponsor and her husband Mark is the head football coach, it's kind of romantic."

"Mm that's not the word I would use," Isabel quipped back.

"Anyway, I'm hosting this Friday, say you'll come!"

"I don't know. Will's working that night, there's no one to watch Hen."

Kara waved her hand. "Bring him along! He can play in Brailey's room."

"It'll be fun. And you look like you need to let your hair down and relax."

The bell rang, and we all stood up from the table. "Maybe I will, I'll get back to you." I snapped the lid back on my bowl and started back to the English classroom. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe these women could make me feel a little less alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**(Hello. I have absolutely no excuse for myself lol. It's been so long. I'm the worst!**

 **But I'm trying to make myself finish my work. I have a list of 16 things that I've either started or have some pretty solid, concrete ideas about, and it's my aim to work on one of them every day. 8 of them are fanfics and my goal is to have at least three published by Labor Day, September 2. So I'm trying to be better!**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I have some really big things planned for this story. Leave me a review!)**

"So, Washington DC!" I looked up from my glass of wine to find all five women looking at me expectantly. It was Friday night and Kara and Isabel had talked me into attending the teacher's get together. I lowered my glass and gave them a slight grin.

"Yeah, DC. I started grad school at Georgetown about a year after I graduated from undergrad. Did six months of interning for a non-profit and then managed to land my dream job, working as the press liaison for a unit in the FBI." They all stared back at me; eyebrows raised. I ducked my head slightly, my cheeks warming. "So I did that for five years. Then Will was offered this position and it seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up."

"The FBI… that's amazing! You must have seen some crazy things," one of them, Angela, said grabbing a handful of pretzels.

"You could definitely say that," I chuckled.

"It is true that the government is spying on us through our web cams?" Theresa asked. She was the oldest out of the group, if I remembered correctly she worked in the library.

"Not necessarily. But that's not the unit I worked in so I can't say for sure. Although I can tell you that it is nearly impossible to truly delete something from your computer history. One of my friends, Penelope, she made computer hacking seem like a fine art. When we needed a laugh, she would go through and find pictures of us from high school and pass them around to tease us." My spirits lifted, thinking back on all of the good times I had shared with my fellow agents. Just as quickly, they fell. Had it really only been a month since we'd moved here? It felt like years. And while they tried to text and talk as much as possible, they were busy. I understood, but I still missed them. "But anyway, yeah. I don't think they're spying through your web cams."

"Have you ever shot anyone?" Kara asked breathlessly.

I hesitated, then nodded, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

"Did… they live?" Isabel asked.

"Uh… no. He didn't."

"Why did you shoot him?" Ellen asked. Theresa elbowed her.

"Don't ask that!" she chastised the Biology teacher. "She probably doesn't want to talk about it."

"But if you do, we'd love to know," Isabel smirked.

"He tried to kill one of our agents. He shot her in the chest. The one I was talking about, actually. Penelope. He was a dirty cop and she was close to finding him out, so he tried to take her out first. When they tried to corner him, he ended up pulling a gun. I was in my office where he couldn't see me, so I… shot him. Killed him."

They were all staring again, a mixture of awe and horror on their faces. I couldn't help but sigh. I wanted so desperately to make friends, but this is what I had been afraid of; my life was so vastly different from the ones that they had led. We had nothing in common. "Anyway, maybe we should talk about something a little happier," I prompted.

"Of course, you're right. I shouldn't have asked," Ellen apologized. "You mentioned your husband, Will. He's the new police captain, right?" I nodded. "That must be wonderful, being married to a policeman, a man in uniform and all that."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Well when we met, he was a detective, so he wasn't in uniform very often. That's actually how we met; he was the lead detective on a case we worked in New Orleans."

"And how long have you been married?"

I took a deep breath before looking at Angela head on. "A little over two years." They all nodded but I could see them doing the math in their heads. "We had a small ceremony right before I went back to work after my maternity leave. But we've been together for nearly four."

"Well no one here cares one way or another what order it all happened," Kara assured me as she topped off my wine.

"How could we? Our county is notorious for teen pregnancies," Isabel quipped, rolling her eyes. "Not that you were a teen bride by any means, but these things happen. After all, Blake knocked me up my second semester of college. And it sounds like you had way more important things to worry about other than remembering to take a birth control pill."

"You can say that again."

"But you just have Henry? Do you think you guys will have another soon?" Ellen asked.

"It's just Henry for now, I want a little more space between them."

"Oh, but he's so cute! And so well behaved. If my son had been that good, I would have had a whole houseful!"

I laughed but was starting to get a little fed up with the whole subject. First Will, now these women I barely even knew? Why couldn't everyone just drop it?

"Speaking of boys that aren't so well behaved, did I tell you I had to send Ryan Hudson to the office again today?" Isabel said. The group groaned and rolled their eyes.

"What did he do now?" Theresa asked. I listened, grateful that the attention had been taken off of me. The conversation flowed easily from there, and it wasn't until Henry came in, rubbing his eyes and sucking his thumb that I realized how late it had gotten.

"I better get him home, put him to bed."

"Oh, why don't you just lay him down on Brailey's bed? Don't rush off so soon!"

"No, he's still getting used to the new house. I better take him home."

"I think I'll head that way too," Isabel said. "Blake has the kids, maybe I can sneak in a load of laundry and a bubble bath before they all come home."

We walked out to our cars together, no sounds cutting through the muggy darkness other than the screaming of the crickets. "Shit, you must really miss Washington, huh."

I let out a breath, shifting Henry higher up on my hip. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

She turned to face me, her face drawn. "You're not like these women."

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it as a compliment. You're not like the women in this town. You've… been places, seen things. Some of them were horrible, I'm sure, but you've experienced life. Not all of us can say the same thing."

I gave her a searching look. "Isabel, I don't think you're like the others."

She lifted her chin. "I'm not. I'm from another little town, just like this one, but I wanted to escape. I wanted to be the next Bill Gates. But it didn't happen. I'm here, and Blake and I have four kids… His family is here. There's no reason for us to leave." She grabbed my hand, shocking me with her sense of urgency. "You have to get out. Don't get trapped here."

My surprise must have shown on my face, because after a moment she gave her head a sharp shake. "Listen to me. Two glasses of wine and I'm running my mouth like a crazy person. I just… I can see you miss home. And it must be hard."

"It is," I confided softly. "It really is."

"Anyway, I'll let you get the little man home." She smiled and smoothed Henry's hair. "Get home safe, JJ. I'll see you on Monday."

X

A few weeks later, the boys and I were bumming around the house on a Saturday afternoon. We'd watched several movies and now Will was starting on dinner while I switched the laundry from the washer to the dryer. I shut the basement door behind me and slid the lock into place.

"Momma, look!" I stepped around the counter to see Henry proudly sitting next to a tower of blocks that he had stacked.

"Oh, my goodness! Did you do that all by yourself?" He nodded proudly and I gave him a high five followed by a hug and kiss. "That is so great! Can I get a picture of you next to it to send to your Mimi and Mamaw?" I pulled out my phone and snapped several, quickly forwarding them to Will and I's moms as well as Emily and Garcia. When I was done, I couldn't help but look back through some of the pictures on my phone from when Henry was younger. They pulled at my heartstrings, and I was surprised to find myself a little teary as I realized how fast he was growing.

"Whatchya lookin' at?"

I turned and showed Will the picture I had stopped on, of Henry standing without support for the first time, a four-tooth smile showing how happy he was. "Look at him. He used to be so tiny and he's getting so big." I flipped through a few more, to one of him cuddled up on Will's chest. "It seems like this was just yesterday."

"Before you know it, he'll be going to school." I gasped, realizing that while he was teasing, that really was only a few years away. "And then he'll be riding a bike. Starting to shave. Going to prom. Moving out to go to college."

I swatted his shoulder with a chuckle. "Hey, stop it! That's not very nice!"

He grinned, hugging me from behind. "That's just the natural order of things, babe. Kids grow up, faster than you can keep up with them. Which is why," he placed a kiss on my jaw, "I really think we should consider having another one."

My laughter died in my throat. "Will, why are you bringing this up again? I already told you that I wanted to wait." I pulled from his grasp and walked out of the kitchen.

Will caught up with me as I started up the stairs. "Woah, JJ wait. What's wrong?"

I turned to face him. "Why would you bring that up again?"

"Because… it was relevant to the conversation? And because, if I'm being honest it felt like you completely shut me down the first time without actually listening to what I was trying to say."

"I heard you Will. You want me to have another baby. Everyone wants me to have another baby. Doesn't anyone care what I want?"

"Everyone? What the hell are you talking about everyone?"

I huffed, not wanting to get into it. "Nothing. Forget I said anything."

"No! By all means, forget I said anything! I didn't realize this was going to be such big deal. God forbid I try to talk to my wife about maybe increasing our family."

I sighed. "Will- "

"No! Forget I brought it up." He turned and walked back to the kitchen. I stared after him for a moment before turning and continuing up the stairs. I couldn't quite explain why I was so resistant to having another baby, only that every time someone brought it up it set my teeth on edge. I thought back to the brief conversation I'd had with Isabel outside of Kara's house. Was it because I felt that, like her, every baby I gave birth to here was another bar on a cage I was trying to convince myself I wasn't inside?

 _Get a grip, JJ, you're being hysterical._ I collected the dirty clothing from the hampers and sent them down the laundry chute. I owed Will an apology. He didn't know that several other people had brought up the idea of having another baby. It was unfair to jump down his throat over it. Still, I reasoned as I walked down the long hallway, he needed to understand that this was something I was serious about. It was my body and I wasn't having another baby anytime soon.

I took the first step down the stairs and felt the unmistakable feeling of hands, hard against my upper back. I let out a shriek as I lost my balance, trying to grab for the banister but instead falling headfirst down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

**(Hello! Here's Chapter 7!)**

I pried my eyes open to find Will's face just inches from my own, his eyes wide and terrified.

"JJ? Baby can you hear me?" I registered wailing in the background, and after a few moments I recognized it as Henry.

"'s he okay?" I slurred. I tried to sit up but Will held my shoulders tightly.

"Stop moving. You fell. I called an ambulance but you need to stay perfectly still until they can get here."

I sluggishly brought a hand to my face, alarmed to pull it away covered in blood. "Will?"

"You're gonna be okay, it's gonna be fine, but please don't move, okay? Stay still for me, don't move your head or neck." I tried to use my other hand to help wipe the blood away, but gave a ragged gasp when even the slightest movement made pain radiate from my elbow to the tips of my fingers.

A different high-pitched wail began to assault my senses and I groaned. "Too loud."

"I need to let the paramedics in, don't move."

People I didn't know appeared all around me, shining lights in my eyes, taking my pulse, feeling along my head and neck. They started asking me questions about my name, my address, as well as asking Will what had happened. A neck brace was snapped on and a board was slid underneath my body. My stomach lurched as they began to wheel me out of the house towards the ambulance with it's bright, flashing lights.

"Will?" I was scared. Everything hurt.

"I'm going to be right behind you, Jayje. Henry and I are following in the car. Just hang tight, okay? They're taking you to Wichita, everything will be okay." They eased me into the back of the ambulance, and the last thing I saw before they shut the doors was Will, tears snaking down his cheeks, standing on the porch steps next to a man wearing a brown tweed coat and a fedora.

X

Once at the hospital I was immediately rushed into a CT scan. I fought to stay awake, my eyes wanting nothing more than to fall closed so I could sink back into unconsciousness. Afterwards I was wheeled into an examination room, Will joining me several minutes later.

"Where's Henry?" I asked as he took my hand.

"I, I dropped him off at the Boatman's, Kara is going to watch him. I didn't want him to get scared, seeing you like this." He cleared his throat, trying to fight back tears. "Jesus you scared me. I heard you scream, then fall, and I ran into the living room and you were…" He let out a slow breath. "I was terrified."

A doctor came in. "Hello, I'm Dr. Roberts. You must be Jennifer and you are…"

Will offered him a hand. "Will, I'm her husband."

"Well first things first, I have some good news. You didn't injure your spinal cord in any way, which judging from your other injuries is nothing short of pure luck."

I wasn't exactly feeling lucky. I felt like I'd been dragged to hell and back. He unsnapped the neck brace, pulling it away. I gave my head some experimental movements. Everything was sore and stiff.

"As for everything else, you have a nasty concussion, grade 3. You're going to have to take it extremely easy for a while. You've gashed open your chin, the paramedics taped it together for the ride, but we'll need to properly stitch it up. You didn't break your nose, thankfully, just hit it really hard. Are you experiencing any other pain?"

The better question was where wasn't I experiencing pain. "My arm." He gently lifted my left arm and began to examine it, making me hiss.

"I'm willing to bet that it's fractured, perhaps through both the ulna and radius. We'll take an X ray to make sure it doesn't need to be surgically set, then get you a cast. Anything else?"

"Everything is sore."

He grimaced. "That's to be expected. Your chart says you fell down the staircase in your home?"

"I heard her scream and when I ran in, she was crumpled at the bottom," Will told him. "I don't know if… Maybe a floorboard came loose? JJ, do you remember what you tripped on?"

A memory clawed its way through my mind. "I didn't." I breathed. "I was pushed."

I raised my eyes to find both of them staring at me in shock. "You were pushed?" the doctor repeated in a skeptical tone.

"I'd gone upstairs. I was going to come back down but when I got to the top of the stairs… Hands. I felt hands on my upper back, pushing me. Hard."

"No one pushed you, sweetheart."

I looked at Will. "Yes, I felt it! Someone pushed me!"

"Who else was in the house?"

Will turned to the doctor. "No one. We were home all day, just me, Jayje, and our son Henry, he's two."

"Is it possible someone could have come in without you realizing it?"

Will shook his head. "No. We keep the front door locked most of the time because it has a loose latch. We had been in the kitchen, we would have seen someone come in through the side door or the sliding glass door in the library."

"There are no other entrances?"

"No. I mean, technically the basement has both a door to the kitchen and a cellar door in the back yard, but we would have known. She'd just started a load of laundry downstairs."

"Someone pushed me!" I insisted.

Will took my uninjured hand and leaned in to look at me. "JJ, there was no one else in the house. It was just us, and I was in the kitchen."

"No, it wasn't you, I know it wasn't you, but I also know what I felt! You've got to believe me."

"Honey, I want to, but that just doesn't make sense."

"Keep in mind, Mrs. Jareau, that you just experienced a pretty traumatic injury. You hit your head hard enough that it knocked you unconscious, it's not surprising that you're confused."

"I'm not confused!" I was so tired. My head throbbed and keeping my eyes open was a struggle.

The doctor patted my hand. "It's important that you rest. I'll send the nurse in to take you for an x ray to your arm, then depending on what it shows we'll get you wrapped up, okay?"

I looked at Will. "I know what I felt."

He leaned down, pressing a very light kiss to my forehead. "Let's not stress about it, okay? The most important thing is that you're going to be alright."

The doctor shook Will's hand and left. Will began to stroke my hair, looking down on me with tender eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay, JJ. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

X

Sure enough, both bones were fractured in my arm, and I ended up with a heavy cast around my wrist. The hospital insisted on keeping me overnight for observation, and it was late afternoon on Sunday when Will and I got back to the house with Henry, who'd stayed the night with Kara.

I gingerly got out of the car and shut the door, turning to stare up at our house. It was ridiculous, but I found myself not wanting to go inside. Somewhere deep in my stomach I couldn't shake the memory of being pushed down the stairs. Will had told me over and over that it just wasn't possible, and I could admit that it rationally didn't make sense. I was the only person on the second floor. I had been alone.

Or had I?

I followed Will inside and grimaced at the blood residing on the dark wood floor of the foyer. Will hadn't thought to clean it up before following the ambulance, and it had dried a sickening brown color.

I went to the kitchen and retrieved cleaner from under the sink. I brought it back to the entryway and sat down.

"Woah, what are you doing?"

I looked up at Will. "I'm cleaning this blood up before one of us tracks it into the rest of the house.

"Let me do it." He helped me stand back up and led me into the living room. He gently guided me onto the couch then scooped Henry up, depositing him next to me. "Hen, can you sit here and keep your momma company for me?" He handed me the remote. "Rest."

I smiled wearily at him, and he went to clean up the mess.

"You have a boo boo?" Henry's eyes were wide, concerned with bruising to my face.

"Yeah baby, Momma has a boo boo. But the doctor made me feel better." I lifted the cast so he could look at it better. "This is like a big, hard bandaid for my arm."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you get hurt?"

I looked deep into his eyes, then at the TV. That seemed to be the million dollar question, one I didn't have a sufficient answer for. "I fell down the stairs," I finally said. "That's why we have to be really careful around stairs, right?"

"Yeah!" He kissed my cast then lifted his face and pursed his lips. I giggled and gave him a kiss, then tucked him under my uninjured arm.

"Let's find some cartoons to watch."

X

"Hey- you look like shit!"

I rolled my eyes. "Hello to you as well."

Emily and Garcia gaped at me through the screen. "Well she's right, gumdrop! You look like someone attacked you with a baseball bat! What happened?"

"I was coming down the stairs, not paying attention, and I tripped. Knocked myself out, cut my face open, and broke my arm." I lifted my arm, showing off my cast with a sarcastic flourish. It had been almost three days since I'd come home, and every time someone saw me for the first time, I had to explain what had happened, and every time I said I fell I came a little closer to believing it.

"Jesus, you go to the Midwest for a month and a half and you lose every bit of coordination you possess?" Emily teased.

"Apparently."

"You must be in so much pain, oh my gosh."

I chuckled. "Oh you have no idea. It's like every inch of my body has a deep tissue bruise. Check this out." I twisted to the best of my ability and edged up my sweatshirt, showing them the deep purple mark where my back had come into contact with the edge of a stair.

They both cringed. "Who knew that living in the middle of nowhere could somehow be more dangerous than taking down serial killers?" Garcia asked.

"Seriously. I played soccer for eighteen years and then joined the FBI, but my first broken bone was at the hands of a set of stairs."

"I trust Will's pampering you?"

I smiled at Penelope. "Oh, you know it. If he had his way, I would stay propped up on the couch in the living room for the next three months. I went back to work yesterday and he messaged me every hour to make sure I was feeling okay."

Emily sighed. "See? Hearing things like that makes me wish that I was attracted to men. But all of the ones I meet fall seriously short."

"He's pretty one of a kind, all right. But even if you found someone to pamper you, there's no way you would take them up on it."

She grinned. "Yeah, probably not."

"How are things with that girl you met, what was her name… Faye?"

Emily shrugged. "Well after canceling on her three times, she mysteriously stopped responding to my texts."

"Weird," I laughed.

Both of them glanced upwards, listening to someone I couldn't see.

"We're talking to JJ," Penelope said, pointing towards me on the screen.

After a few moments, Spencer's head popped into view. "JJ! Woah, what happened to your face?"

I sighed resignedly. "Hey! I fell down a flight of stairs, I have lots of bumps and bruises but other than that I'm fine. How are things?"

"Things are great! The Department of Energy just released a paper theorizing on the possibility of creating a new particle collider to examine the quantum electrodynamics theorem as it applies to extremely large electromagnetic fields!"

"No, Spence, I meant how are things with you?" I laughed.

"Oh." He shrugged with a smile. "They're okay. Same old, same old."

"Did you need something?" Garcia asked, looking up at him.

"Oh yeah. Hotch needs us. We have a new case."

"Okay, we'll talk to you later, alright? Get some rest, tell Will and Henry we love and miss them!"

"Will do, talk soon."

"PG out!" Garcia hit a button and the screen went dark. My smile slowly faded. I missed my team more than I could say.

"How's everyone at the BAU?" I looked up to find Will in the library doorway.

"They're good! It sounds like Emily has once again managed to let a girl slip through her fingers."

He chuckled as he walked over. "Some things never change." He kissed the top of my head. "No, I know her dream girl will come along one day. After all, mine did."

"Aren't you sweet," I mumbled, tilting my head up to give him a kiss.

"Dinner's ready if you are."

"Sure." I stood up, wincing as I did.

"Want me to carry you into the kitchen?"

I snorted. "As lovely as that sounds, I think that would just hurt more."

"Man, I bet you'll really think twice the next time you decide to fall down a set of stairs, huh?" he teased.

 _I didn't fall._ I pushed down the nagging thought. "It's not near as much fun as it looks, you're right," I joked back, letting him lead me towards the kitchen table.


	8. Chapter 8

**(I'm actually sitting in an airport, waiting for a plane to Wichita, KS, so here's chapter 8!)**

As the days passed, my injuries began to fade. A week after I talked with my friends from the BAU, I went back to the doctor in Wichita to have the stitches removed from my chin. A week after that and almost all of the bruises were gone, save for lingering greenish patches on my back and ribs.

The kids in my English classes had varied between disgust and horrified fascination. I'd tried to answer their questions while not pulling attention from us reading The Great Gatsby, and eventually they lost interest.

"Mrs. Jareau? Can you read this? I don't know if it makes any sense." I stood up from where I had been reading junior essays and walked over to Vanessa's desk. She was a senior, a bright student from what I could tell. She handed me her notebook and I quickly looked over her map of ideas for her persuasive essay.

"This seems really great! Have you gone through and found passages to support your thesis?"

She leaned back in her chair with a yawn. "I started to last night, but I was so tired that I ended up falling asleep."

I laughed, swatting her on the shoulder with her notebook before handing it back. "Listen, you can take my two-year-old for the night and then we'll talk tired, okay?"

She grinned. "No way. Kids are the worst."

"Not the worst, but… they're up there."

"But babies are so cute!" I turned to see another student, Olivia, giving me a dreamy look. "They're so soft and they smell so good. I can't wait to have kids."

"Cute?" I gave a loud laugh. "A few nights ago, I woke up to hear Henry babbling over the baby monitor at four am. He was giggling and talking, to the point where I got up to go check on him. I found him sitting in the middle of his room, diaper off, playing in his own poop. It was _everywhere._ " By now, several other students had started listening in, and they all recoiled in horror. "I had to strip his bed and pajamas and put them in the washing machine, then run him a bath. Once I got him out, I put him in bed with my husband. Then I got to scrub poop out of the bathtub and his carpet. I finally took a shower and fell back into bed only for my alarm to go off twelve minutes later." Several of them laughed. "So yes, my son is adorable, and I love him to pieces, but he is a tiny chaos machine that produces more poop and vomit than should be biologically possible. So remember that the next time you're getting cozy in the back of some car on a Friday night. Just picture being covered in someone else's poop and make sure to use a condom."

The bell rang and they all hopped up, some of them still grimacing at my story. I walked back to my desk as they filed out of the room. Teri walked over to me.

"You might want to be careful," she warned me in a low voice.

"What's that?"

"I heard you talking with the kids just now."

I grimaced as I sat back down. "I think we should be more honest with teens about how hard and gross parenting can be. Really drive home the idea of how important birth control is, y'know?"

"That's what I mean."

I stared at her, confused. "I'm sorry, I guess I don't follow."

"Birth control. Earlier you mentioned condoms. We implement abstinence only sex education."

I couldn't stop the shock from registering on my face. "You can't be serious."

"It's what we teach."

"But… why? It's not effective! Studies have shown over and over that it just leads to more teen pregnancies and higher rates of STDs."

"You have to understand, we come from a very religious community-"

"That doesn't matter!" Now it was her turn to look shocked. "I think we both know that even the holiest of teenagers can end up having sex. Some might choose abstinence and that's great, but a good majority don't, and they need information so that they don't end up messing up their lives."

"It's not for us to decide. If the parents want-"

I cut her off with a look. "The same parents who were also never taught about sex? It's a never-ending cycle, one that hurts everyone but especially our female students. And we have the resources to help but we're just supposed to stay quiet because some people refuse to face the facts?"

She let out a sharp breath as the next class began to come in. "Well if you feel that strongly perhaps you should talk to the school board. But in the meantime, that's the policy, and unless you want angry parents complaining to Mr. Brewer, you probably want to remember that."

She walked back to her desk, leaving me to grade my essays, frustration bubbling under my skin.

X

During lunch, the girls' soccer coach, Coach Tatum approached me, a balding man whose beer belly was enhanced by his habit of tucking his tee shirts into his windpants.

"Word on the street is that you used to play soccer in high school."

I nodded, swallowing a bite of salad. "And college."

He nodded. "Intramural?"

I chuckled. "Uh no. Collegiate soccer at Penn State for four years. Team captain and MVP my senior year." Isabel whistled, waggling her eyebrows at me from across the table. On some level, I knew that it was a bit of an asshole brag, but being underestimated by mediocre, middle aged men was never something that sat well with me.

"Oh. Well." He leaned on the back of the chair, somewhat embarrassed. "I was asking because I was wondering if you would like to help out with the team. They're a good bunch of girls."

Something akin to excitement flooded through me. A chance to be involved with soccer again? Something useful to do with my time? "Absolutely! Sounds like fun."

He smiled. "Good. We practice after school on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, along with every other Saturday."

"Great! I'll see you on the field later today." He left the teacher's lounge and I glanced down at my dress and cardigan. "I'm going to need different clothes."

"You can probably run home during the free period, Mrs. MVP," Isabel teased.

My face flushed. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Kara cut in. "Everything about your life has been so interesting! College soccer, Georgetown, the FBI… You deserve to brag a little."

"I'm excited to be back on a field, even if it's just as a coach."

"If you need me to, I can pick up Henry from daycare."

I paused for a moment. In my eagerness, I had completely forgotten that this wasn't DC. I didn't have a nanny who was able to watch Hen at any hour of the day. Depending on how long practices ran, I would need to find additional care or talk to Will about shifting his schedule so that he was off those nights. "That would be great, Kara, thank you so much."

"Of course! He's such a little doll, I love having him around. Plus Brailee turns into little mini mom with him." She lowered her voice. "She's going to be such a good big sister." A few days earlier she had confided in us that she was three months pregnant, due in the middle of April. Apparently, they'd had a hard time conceiving and were over the moon. "Just swing by and pick him up after practice."

I turned back to my lunch, happily munching on a bite of salad. Back on a soccer field, helping coach the sport I loved and missed; this was exactly what I needed.

X

Over dinner I couldn't help but gush to Will about the practice. "The girls are pretty good! I mean, they need to spend a little more time going over the basics, and I think some team building exercises will help them better communicate on the field, but they have potential. In fact, there's a girl named Vanessa, she's actually in my English class, she could be really great with enough time and dedication. And we have a striker named Erica, she's faster than I ever dreamed of being." I stood up, carrying my plate to the sink.

"That's great, Jayje."

"And there's an odd number of girls, so Tatum had me step in for a few paired exercises, and I can't even begin to tell you how great it felt to be moving and active again."

"But this was just kinda a one-off thing, right? It's not a set deal?"

I placed my plate on the drying rack, turning back to my husband. "I don't know, Tatum didn't go into a lot of detail. But it sounded like he maybe wanted it to be a permanent thing." He didn't say anything, instead looking back down at his plate. "What?"

"Nothin' I just… I don't know. I thought the whole point of the move was that you would be home more, that you could spend more time with Hen."

I glanced over at our son, happily ensconced in his booster. "Well actually, the whole point of the move was so that you could pursue the opportunity of a better job. Me spending more time with Henry was just an added benefit. It's not like I'm going to be away for weeks at a time again. It's just afternoon practices three times a week."

"Sometimes four. And what about games? Will you have to go to out of town tournaments?"

I slowly felt the high I'd been riding since talking to Coach Tatum at lunch begin to ebb away. "We can make it work, Will."

"I'm not sayin' we can't, JJ. It would just be nice if you maybe thought to run stuff by me before makin' big decisions like this."

I laughed. "I would hardly call this a big decision."

"You know what I'm tryin' to say."

I took a deep breath. "Will. I'm sorry I didn't talk this over with you. But to be fair, Tatum just brought it up to me today. And I missed most of preseason, there's only a month or so left before finals. This is… This is important to me, okay? I think this will help me feel a lot more settled, more useful. Alright?"

He sighed and gave me a slight smile. "Of course, JJ. It's not that I wanna keep you locked away, it just sometimes feels like you're so used to havin' to make big, hard decisions all by yourself that you forget that we're a team."

"I haven't forgotten." I walk over and kissed him on the cheek . "You're the best teammate I could ask for."

"You're not so bad yourself. And I know those girls are lucky to have you."

I smiled. "We'll see if they agree after I make them run sprints." I turned to Henry. "Alright buddy, time for a bath." I unclipped him and picked him up, smoothing his hair as I began to carry him upstairs.

Just as I was getting him dried off, my fitbit buzzed, letting me know I had received a text. I put a diaper on him and sat him on his bed then went back downstairs. Will was still sitting in his chair, my phone in his hand.

"Hey."

He looked up at me, a smile quickly gracing his face. "You have a text."

"Yeah." I held out my hand and he handed it over before standing up and carrying his plate to the sink. I watched him for a second, something that I couldn't quite put my finger on settling low in my stomach. He glanced over his shoulder at me.

"Everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah." I gave my head a shake and typed out a reply to Spencer, hitting send. "Henry's out of the bath. I'm gonna get him changed into pajamas then hopefully he goes down without a fuss."

"Okay." He walked past me, stopping to press a kiss to my cheek. "I have some paperwork to fill out." I stood for a moment, watching him walk into the library. I glanced back down at my phone then put it in my back pocket, turning and heading upstairs.


	9. Chapter 9

**(Hello! Here's chapter nine. TW for description of assault.)**

"How's Reid doing?"

I looked up at Will. "What?"

"Reid. What's he been up to?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much I guess! He took off some time so he could go and see his mom in Vegas. Apparently, the medicine combination they had been using isn't quite keeping all of Diana's symptoms under control. Which from what he said, happens, and it's not necessarily something to worry about. But I know he is." I sat back in my chair. "Why do you ask?"

"I just know how close the two of you are." I chuckled, noticing there was a weird look in his eye.

"Yeah, he's like the younger brother I never had."

"Except you have a younger brother, and you barely talk about him."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Brandon? I barely even know him." In the aftermath of Rosalind's suicide, what was left of my family had turned to different things for comfort. I had devoted myself to soccer and school, vowing to do anything it took to get out of our small town. My mom had thrown herself into grief counseling, wanting to help other families. My dad had turned to a string of extra marital affairs, eventually leading to him and my mom divorcing when I was twelve. He'd remarried a year later, and soon his new wife, Kori, had given birth to my half-brother. But my dad had never made much of a push for me to feel like I was a part of his new life, so Brandon felt more like a rumor than a flesh and blood person. I hadn't seen him since I was around twenty and he was six. Now he was nearly seventeen, and I probably wouldn't have been able to recognize him on the street.

"So Reid went to Vegas?"

I refocused on what he was saying. "Yeah."

"And his mom is doing a little better?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "About the same. They're still tinkering with the correct dosage. But he's hopeful."

"It's too bad Strauss wouldn't give him more than a week off. He could have stopped in to visit us."

The weird, hollow feeling in my stomach was back. "What?"

He flashed me a smile. "Well we have all of these guest rooms, he should come and stay with us."

"How did you know he only got a week off?"

"Hm?"

"You… you said it's too bad that Straus didn't approve a longer leave. I didn't say that."

He shrugged. "I remember how she is. Never wanting anyone out of the field for very long. I just assumed she limited his leave."

"But how did you know he only got a week off?"

"What's with the twenty questions, Jayje?" he asked with a laugh. "Can't I be interested in what's happening with the godfather of our child?"

"Of course, but that doesn't explain how you knew that."

He held up his hands in exasperation. "I must have seen the message on your phone when it buzzed last night."

I narrowed my eyes. "Did you read through my messages?"

"Oh for Pete's sake…"

"We were talking about that much earlier, while I was making dinner. You did, didn't you?"

"Well what's the big deal? We're married-"

"It's a big deal because my messages are private. Just because we're married doesn't mean you get access to everything in my possession."

"Calm down-"

"No! I won't! I have never read your messages, because I trust you, and frankly it would be nice if you felt the same way."

"You're blowing this out of proportion."

"No I'm not!"

"JJ, I'm your husband. Why would you need to keep secrets from me anyway? What are you hiding?"

"I'm not-"

Henry came toddling into the room, a sippy cup clutched in his hand. He tripped over his own shoes and fell forward, banging his head on the floor. His little face immediately screwed up, a loud wail filling the kitchen. Will stepped forward but I held up a hand.

"I've got him." I picked him up and he immediately buried his face in my shoulder. I turned back to Will. "Don't look through my phone again. It's none of your business."

X

Things were tense for a few days. Will ended up apologizing and I forgave him, but I still couldn't figure out why he would have ever thought going through my phone and reading my messages was okay.

It wasn't that I had anything to hide of course. I had been telling the truth: Spencer and I had been discussing his mom and the new treatment plan. But with so many things stripped away from me, like my status as an FBI agent, I was clinging to any shred of the old JJ I could.

The following Friday was an off week for the football team, and some of the other officers invited Will over for a night of poker and beer. I didn't begrudge him going- how could I? I'd been attending every Freedom Friday, drinking wine and chatting with the other teachers. I'd kissed him goodbye and settled in for a quiet night at home with Henry.

The days were becoming chilly as we neared Halloween and the nights were downright cold. When I brought him into his room after his bath, I'd been shocked by just how cold it was was. I blamed the big double window looking out on the street; As far as I could tell all of the windows were original, they probably needed to be resealed. I left him wrapped up in his towel and went to the hallway closet, riffling through the boxes until I found a pair of his winter footie pajamas.

When I came back, he was standing in the middle of the room, staring into the corner, his towel on the ground. He reached out both arms, his little hands opening and closing as if reaching for something.

"Hen?"

He didn't turn around. "Momma look!" I took a step closer but couldn't see anything.

"What is it?"

"Cat."

"A cat? Where?"

"Cat!" He pointed again, then brought a hand to his mouth, blowing a kiss.

I watched him, fascinated. "A cat… You mean Moo? Did Moo come in here?"

"Cat! There!" I couldn't help but laugh as I kneeled next to him, turning him so I could help him into his footie pajamas. Leave it to my son to have an imaginary cat when we already had a real one.

"Alright bud. Ready for your story?"

X

I decided to wait up for Will, but as the hours stretched on, I began to get impatient. The TV was on, but I couldn't make myself focus on the program. The ticking of the grandfather clock we had gotten at an estate sale a month prior seemed too loud, almost drowning out the laugh tracks of the late-night reruns.

The next day would be my first time attending a Saturday soccer practice. I'd really enjoyed helping coach the girls, and part of me couldn't help but take pride in the fact that I had taken to it naturally. I liked the idea that I could help these girls find the same love that had carried me through high school and college.

Just as I was beginning to really worry about Will, someone pulled into the driveway, their headlights shining through the window. I stepped to the front door and peered through, watching as Officer Boatman got out and helped Will out of the backseat. He brought him up the front steps, shooting me a slightly apologetic smile as I opened the door.

"Hey there, babe," my husband slurred, making his accent even thicker. "I made it home, just like I said I would."

"Only three hours late." Part of me really was annoyed, but I also knew that this was an important part of team bonding. After all, how many times had Emily and Garcia delivered me into Will's arms, barely able to stand? Will stepped through the doorway, leaning hard against the wall.

"I've got it from here," I told Boatman.

"You sure? Want me to help get him upstairs?"

"Oh I doubt he'll be making it upstairs tonight," I laughed. "I'll make up the couch."

"Okay. Sorry for being so late. Have a good night."

"Thanks, Boatman. Get home safe." I shut the door and turned back to Will who draped his arms around my shoulders.

"Jayje..." He ducked his head and pressed a kiss to my lips. I wrinkled my nose at the taste.

"Have you been smoking cigars?"

"Just a half of one."

I shook my head with a smile. "Alright, let me make up the couch for you."

"No, no, no, I wanna be in our bed."

"Honey I don't know that you can make it."

"I'm fine." He pushed off from the wall, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, keeping him upright. "I'm fine. Let's go."

I sighed and gave in, pulling one of his arms over my shoulders. We slowly made our way up the staircase, Will leaning heavily on me and the bannister.

When we finally made it to our room, I deposited him on our bed. I helped him out of his shoes then began to unbutton his shirt. His face pressed into my neck, kissing me lazily. One of his hands came up and cupped my ass, making me laugh.

"No, Will, you need to go to sleep."

"You're the one takin' my clothes off," he slurred.

I finally extracted his arms from his shirt and threw it in the hamper. I put my hands on my hips. "Alright, are you going to take your pants off?"

He flopped backwards, bringing his hands behind his head with a grin. "It's better when you do it."

I suppressed a laugh and brought my hand to his belt. Soon enough his pants were joining his shirt. His hand wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me into the bed with him, rolling us over so he had me pinned beneath him.

"Will, it's late." He caught my earlobe between his teeth, pulling at it until I shivered beneath him. He pulled my tee shirt over my head then kissed me deeply. I could taste the whiskey and cigars on his tongue. Even with as tired as I was, I couldn't help but respond when his hand dipped between my legs. My voice was decidedly breathless as I pulled my lips away from his. "You should go to sleep."

"I don't wanna." Then his hands were on my hips, flipping me beneath him. He clumsily smoothed my hair to the side so that his mouth could reattach to the skin of my neck. He grasped my hip, pulling me up onto my knees.

"Will, I'm serious," I insisted, squirming in his hold. "Not tonight."

"So am I. I wanna love you."

"I'm not really in the mood."

"You're so beautiful..." He grabbed the waistband of my sweatpants, pulling them towards my knees along with my underwear. I felt like I was frozen. He wasn't listening to me; I needed to make him understand, he wouldn't be doing this otherwise.

"Will, stop." I could feel him fumbling with his boxers. I tried to sit up, but his other arm was across my shoulders, his lips lavishing attention down my spine. "Will!" I didn't want to wake up Henry, but he didn't appear to be listening to me. Then he was at my entrance, pushing inside of me. My breath caught in my chest, my head foggy with shock. Pain shot through my body; I was in no way wet enough for this. He was moving behind me, his hands gripping my hips so tightly I wondered if I would have bruises in the morning. I said no. Why wasn't he listening? I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes, and gripped onto my pillow, trying to hold myself together. This was a misunderstanding. I must not have... He just... I bit my lip, pushing everything down. His hips slammed into me, harder and harder. This didn't feel like Will, this was all about him and his pleasure. He thrust one last time, emptying inside of me with a long, low moan.

After what felt like an endless moment he collapsed onto the bed. He grinned and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me down to lay with him. My head rested on his chest and I struggled to keep my tears at bay. His chest began to rumble with snores. I didn't know what to do.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, I was working a camp. Here's chapter 10, please review!)**

I had laid under Will's arm for hours, staring up at our ceiling and listening to him snore. I felt frozen, like the smallest movement would cause me to shatter into a thousand pieces, unable to ever come back together again. Once I finally fell asleep, I was restless, unable to escape dreams of running through thick trees, unable to find my way out.

When my alarm went off, I immediately slid from our bed and hurried down the hall towards the bathroom. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, not completely sure I would recognize the person looking back at me. I hurried through a shower and did my best ignore the slight pain between my legs.

When I got out, I could hear Henry babbling in his room. We had agreed that Will would watch him while I was at practice, but I didn't know that he would be up anytime soon, or if he would be in any shape to take care of our son. I had no choice but to get him dressed and bring him with me to the soccer field. Hopefully Coach Tatum wouldn't mind.

I tried desperately to focus on the girls and the drills instead of what had happened the night before. I coached the team through dribbling, passing, and shooting, occasionally checking in with Henry where I had settled him on a blanket on the sidelines.

After practice ended, I held one of the girls back to talk about some exercises she could do to increase her speed. When I looked to the end of the field, I recognized my husband leaning against the chain-link fence. A flurry of emotions hit my body: anger, confusion, and most alarmingly, fear. I gathered up Henry and I's things and slowly made my way to where he was standing. He slowly bent down, picking up a coffee from the ground and holding it out to me with an apologetic smile.

"Peace offering?"

I took it from him and took a sip. It was light and sweet, exactly how I loved it. "Jayje, I'm really sorry. I really expected us to have a few beers then be home around eleven. I didn't expect Brooks to whip out the Jack Daniels during the second game."

"I've never seen you that drunk."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was supposed to watch Henry this morning and you had to bring him… I fucked up, Jayje. I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, I have the worst hangover of my entire life."

"That's… that's not-" I broke off, trying my hardest to struggle through the tears that had been just below the surface all morning. "That's not why I'm upset."

"It's not?" His face twisted in confusion. "Then what's wrong?"

My eyes darted to meet his. "How much do you remember of last night?"

He paused. "I mean… Like I said. Brooks started pouring Jack during our second game, everything gets a little blurrier as it goes on… Richardson brought me home."

"No. Boatman did."

"Okay? I don't see why that matters."

I adjusted Henry on my hip. "You… what about after you came home?"

He shrugged. "Not much to be honest. Coming through the front door and then it goes dark."

"You insisted that I help you upstairs, and then- y'know what? This isn't the place to talk about it." I began to walk down the fence and Will followed.

"JJ talk to me."

"Not here."

"JJ!"

I whipped around to face him. "We had sex last night, do you remember that?" I hissed.

He pulled back, shock twisting his features. "What? We did?"

"Yeah. Or…" I took a breath. "You did, at least."

He stepped forward, clutching at the chain link fence separating us. "I don't… What are you saying, JJ?"

"I didn't… I kept telling you that it was late, that I was tired, but you wouldn't listen. You ignored me."

"I didn't…" He gave me an uneasy look. "I wouldn't have-"

"Well you did," I spat. "I told you no, but you kept going."

"Why… why didn't you knock some sense into me? I mean, if I was hurting you then you should have-"

"Because you were holding me down, Will." It came out in a mortified whisper. "I tried to push you away but couldn't! It's like I wasn't even your wife, like I was some prostitute that you had picked up and brought to a seedy motel."

"JJ, I'm so-"

"What, Will? So sorry?"

He tore a hand through his hair, his eyes wide and distraught. "Yes. God, I'm so fucking sorry. I don't… I don't remember any of that, I was so… I was drunk. I wouldn't have… You know me. You know I never would have-"

"Do I? Maybe I don't know you at all. Because you're right, the man I married, the one I have a child with, wouldn't have forced me to do anything I didn't want to. But that man wasn't in our bed last night. He was gone. And I don't… I don't know who the real you is. Maybe you don't either."

"JJ, please. I am so… What can I do? Tell me and I'll do it. Anything. I'll do anything you want. Just tell me."

Exhaustion flooded through my body. I hugged Henry a little closer, breathing in his sweet scent. "I don't know, Will. I really don't."

"I mean it. Anything."

"I just…" I sighed. "I'm going to hang around the school for a bit. I have some work to do. Essays to grade. Can you take Henry? He needs lunch."

"You can read the essays at home, Jayje. C'mon, I'll make you something to eat and we can talk about this some more."

"No." I lifted Henry and passed him over the fence to Will. I handed him his bag of toys. "I'll be home this afternoon."

"JJ, wait." He grabbed my wrist and I yanked it away. He stepped back and raised his hand apologetically. "I didn't… I really am sorry."

I looked deep in his eyes. I could see nothing but regret, but that didn't solve the aching deep in my gut. "I'll be home later."

When I got home that night, I found the house much cleaner than I had left it and dinner on the table. Will poured me a glass of wine and I took it, but I didn't say anything. What could I possibly say that would make either one of us feel better? After Henry had been put down for the night, I took another shower, partly to wash off the sweat from practice that morning, partly to avoid Will.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing lotion on my legs when I felt his eyes on me. I looked up to find him leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey."

He slowly walked over and sat next to me. Part of me wanted to move further way, but I stayed where I was.

"I really am sorry, JJ. God, I can't even put into words how… just how sorry I am."

"I know. I know you are, but… that doesn't change how I'm feeling right now."

"What can I do? Tell me and I'll do it. Anything."

"I already told you, I don't know! I don't know what needs to be done because…" I sighed and stood up, facing him head on. "Because I never imagined that this would happen. That you would be capable of this."

"I was drunk!" he cried. "Please JJ, I-"

"I know you were, Will. But I wasn't. I remember every moment. And I don't know how to change that." I sniffed back my tears and cleared my throat. "I just don't know."

"I…" He stood up. "I'll sleep in the guest room. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He crossed to the dresser and retrieved his pajamas from the drawer, wiping at his cheeks. My heart twisted; was it really fair to punish him for something he couldn't remember doing?

"Wait." He turned back to me, his hand on the doorknob. "You… You can sleep in here, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

I looked back at our bed. A wave of nausea rushed through me as I remembered the events of the night prior, but I pushed it away. "It's your bed too."

"Okay."

We changed and slid under the covers even though it wasn't even ten o' clock. We both laid on our backs, staring at the ceiling, listening to the other person breathe. After several minutes, his hand inched over to cover my own. I pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Okay. That's fine, I understand." Silence fell over us again, then finally I rolled onto my side, facing the wall. I wasn't sure that anything would ever feel normal again.

The days ticked by and suddenly it was Halloween. Will had just gotten home from work and was helping Henry get into his Spiderman costume while I wiped up the kitchen after dinner when my phone rang. I was surprised to see Hotch's picture on the screen.

"Jareau."

"JJ."

"Hotch! This is a nice surprise. It's been a while."

"I know. I'm sorry, I meant to be better about staying in tough, but the cases have been hectic-"

"You don't have to apologize. I know how crazy it gets." I paused a second, running the cloth over the counter. "How is everyone?"

"They're good! Everyone misses you of course, but we're pulling through."

I sighed. "I miss you guys, too."

"Any chance you're coming back to us sooner than expected?"

"I wish," I mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"Hm?"

"Is everything alright?"

I shook my hair from my eyes. "Yeah! Everything is fine, it just… It's different. And like I said, I miss you guys. Sometimes I wish I was still there."

"Are you sure that's all?"

The urge to tell Hotch about what had happened bubbled up from my stomach. I'd known him for so many years, I knew the kind of man and husband he was; if anyone could affirm that what Will had done was abnormal and not okay, it was Hotch. But even if he did, what would I do? We'd been sharing a bed ever since it happened, and every day brought us a little closer to normalcy. It would seem ridiculous to get upset about it all over again. Or even worse, what if Hotch confessed that he had done something similar? I mean, sure, I was confident that I knew what kind of man he was, but hadn't I felt the same way about Will?

"JJ?" I gave my head a small shake. This was Hotch. He had been my superior for so many years, and still would be when I eventually returned to my position. I wanted him to see me as Agent Jareau, someone who could be trusted to handle anything thrown at her, not as the woman who couldn't even protect herself from her own husband. I wanted to hold onto whatever dignity I could.

"Everything's fine, I promise."

"How are you enjoying civilian life?"

I forced a laugh. "It's not so bad I guess. I'm working as an English aide at the local high school and helping out with the soccer team. It's quiet."

"Something you deserve."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just… Garcia and I have taken over in your absence, narrowing down the cases. And of course, I always knew that you had perhaps the most difficult job at the BAU but trying to walk in your shoes has really made me appreciate everything you did while you were here."

His words pulled at my heart, making me smile. "Thank you."

I heard small shoes pattering on the floor and turned to see Henry in his costume, Will just a few steps behind him, grinning at me.

"Hotch I better let you go, SPIDERMAN just walked into my kitchen!" I gave Henry a playfully shocked face

"No Momma!" He struggled for a moment than pulled off his face mask. "It's me!"

"Oh it's just Henry, not Spiderman," I relayed to Hotch, making him laugh.

"Yeah I better go too, I bet Darth Vader's going to need some help getting his helmet on. It was good to talk to you, JJ."

"You too, Hotch. Let me know how it goes."

I hung up and crouched down, holding out my arms to Hen. He hurried towards me and I swing him up on my hip. "I can't believe you're not the real-life Spiderman!" He tried to do the web slinging gesture, but ended up just waving his hands around, making Will and I laugh. "Alright buddy let's get your coat on so we can go trick or treating." I gave him a kiss and put him down, watching as he scurried away to grab it.

I smiled and shook my head. "Our kid's a pretty great superhero, y'know it?" I put the wash cloth back in the sink and turned to find Will standing beside me.

"He gets that from you," he whispered. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips then turned to follow Henry.

I stared after him for a moment, not sure what to do with the flurry of emotions erupting inside of me. Will was my husband, the father of my child. I loved him so much that I had followed him to the middle of nowhere so that he could pursue an opportunity. He was my partner, my better half, supposedly the one person who I could trust to always have my back. And for the most part he was all of those things and more.

But then how did I explain what he had done? More importantly, if he could hurt me like that, what else was he capable of doing?


End file.
